Shit, I'm not like that.
It took me a while to admit that I have a problem, I agree. No, ok, I still don't want to admit that. Me? This blonde, young, healthy girl, who has everything she wants? Admitting you are depressed or suffer from anxiety makes you feel worse in your own eyes, let alone in others'. And you know, I just don't believe in all that stuff saying "don't care what others think". I think up to some point it is important. I mean, I care too much, it's obvious, but well, caring what others think may give you some feedback on your behaviour. Asking them what they think helps. Up to some point, of course (and I have exceeded it many times, but that's typical for me).
And all those "20 things to be happy about". I know it really helps, when you feel low, but not in chronic depression (at least it doesn't work for me). I mean, life is really wonderful, I truly believe in that, and sometimes those little things did help me for a while, and that is something. But you know, sometimes it just sound so cheap...
I want a life without fear, a life, where I have the energy to do the things.
OMG, I would do everything to let go of fear and anxiety and depression. To kill those bastards. Let these problems die.
Let's pray one day it will be fine. I wish of a day when I wake up and when I am not scared or anxious. It would be marvellous.
Peace,
J.
No comments:
Post a Comment